ENHANCE CHURCH MEMBERSHIP MANUAL
ABOUT OUR CHURCH
Enhance Church!
How you always thought it should be.
Our goal is to be a multi-denominational community where people from diverse spiritual traditions or with no religious experience feel at home.
Every race and ethnicity, age, and background, ability and disability, theological and political conviction are invited to be a real part of Enhance Church.
Enhance Church is a church where the gospel connects to the real world and is guaranteed to help you live your Monday-Saturday life.
We come together as a community to support one another, learn together, and challenge on another. We give back and strive to make a difference in our community, city and world.
OUR CHILDREN’S CHURCH
Our Children’s Church ministry is designed to provide children with an opportunity to be taught in an engaging way while their parents are in the main Sunday morning worship service. Children are encouraged to worship God through singing, fun activities, and an age- appropriate, God-centered Bible lessons with other children.
Each Sunday morning, children accompany their parents into the main worship service where they worship with their parents until they are dismissed for Children’s Church. All parents, and especially those who are new to our church or who are visiting, are welcome to attend with their children to experience Children’s Church first hand.
We are the family of God and we are missing you. Join us this Sunday at 10AM, it’s a church for you to belong
WHY GOING TO CHURCH IS IMPORTANT
For believers, there is no substitute for attending church. Besides something that pleases God, it is necessary for a believer’s spiritual well-being. For shut-ins or invalids who aren’t able to go to church, the ministries on radio or TV might be the only kind of fellowship or spiritual nourishment that they get. God certainly understands the circumstances of
these people, and recognizes the sincerity of their hearts. However, it is a different matter for those who could attend church but are too lazy, or put other things such as
entertainment and amusements before God, or who harbor bitterness or indifference toward other believers.
It is important to attend church for the following reasons:
- It is an Expression of our Love for God.
Going to church is a visible tangible expression of our love and worship toward God. It is where we can gather with other believers to publicly bear witness of our faith and trust in God, something that is required of all Christians (Matt, 10:32-33)- “and it is where we can bring Him offerings of praise, thanks, and honor, which are pleasing to Him. The
psalmist wrote, “I will declare Your name to My brethren; In the midst of the assembly I will praise You” (Psa, 22:22). People are often motivated toward church attendance for how it will bless themselves, however we should remember that the primary purpose of the corporate gathering is to bring “service” to the Lord as a blessing to Him (Psa.
134:2). Indeed, the Lord is deserving of our time and energy to honor him with our service of devotion. “you are worthy, O Lord, To receive glory and honor and power; For You created all things, And by Your will they exist and were created” (Rev, 4:11).
- It builds up our Spiritual Strength.
Receiving the preaching and teaching of the Word of God increases our faith and builds us up spiritually. Every believer knows what it is to face spiritual conflicts to their faith, and must realize the importance of being fed spiritually so that they can overcome the challenges. Paul states that Christians face a wrestling match with the Devil and his evil spiritual forces, and warns that the church must put on spiritual armor for protection, as it will take everything at our disposal to stand (Eph. 6:10-18). How important that we take every opportunity available to receive ministry and strength from God’s Word. “So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God” (Rom. 10:17).
- It brings a special visitation of the Lord’s Presence
There is the promise of a special visitation of the Lord’s presence whenever two or more gather specifically in the name of Jesus. By implication, this means whenever “Jesus” is the object of gathered prayer, worship, praise, preaching, etc. Even though Jesus resides within the heart of every believer, he honors a gathering in his name by coming in the “midst”, with his power, awareness, and anointing. In such a gathering, Christ is able to do things in hearts that he may not at any other time. The scripture says that God inhabits the praise of His people (Psa. 22:3), and in such an atmosphere the Holy Spirit will often manifest spiritual gifts that minister to the body of Christ. “For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them” (Matt, 18:20).
- It provides fellowship with other Christians.
Gathering together also have compounded importance to the relationship of the Christian brethren. The Bible makes it clear that a right relationship with God requires a
“vertical” and “horizontal” alignment- that is, we must have a vertical fellowship with God and a horizontal fellowship with other believers. It is not possible to love God and refuse to love the brethren. If you have a problem loving other Christians, you have a problem in your relationship with God. Scripture warns us that unforgiveness toward
others will void God’s forgiveness of our own sins (Matt, 6:15). John wrote, “He who says he is in the light, and hates his brother, is in darkness until now. He who loves his brother abides in the light and there is no cause for stumbling in him” (1 John 2:9-10).
One of the most important reasons that we go to church is to practice love toward the brethren in the form of fellowship. The Bible clearly shows that if we have a right relationship with God, we have fellowship with other believers. “But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1:7). Keeping ourselves in love and harmony with other believers keeps us humble before God so that Christ’s blood can continue to cleanse us from our sins.
- It is an act of obedience to God.
Not to be forgotten, going to church is also a matter of obeying God’s Word. The writer of the Hebrew epistle tells us not to forsake assembling together, implying that continued absence can lead to a willful sin. “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, ,as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching. For if we sin willfully, after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there are no longer remains a sacrifice for sins,” (Heb. 10:24-26). Once again, we are reminded that a great part of the purpose of the gathering is for the consideration of our brethren, coming together to help motivate and encourage one another. This is a responsibility charged to every believer, to reject church attendance, is a rejection of one of the sacred duties of the believer. “Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin” (James 4:17).
- It provides accountability to spiritual leadership.
More strong evidence that proves that we’re to be a part of a church fellowship, is that we’re told to submit to the authority of spiritual leaders (within the boundaries of God’s Word). “Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for
that would be unprofitable for you” (Heb. 13:17). God designed this system of accountability for the proves and protection of His flock. Obviously, this really isn’t possible unless we are a part of an organized fellowship which has identified elders, pastors, or leaders. It is easy to see that one cannot genuinely be under submission to a TV pastor who has never met you. Nor is it possible to be under submission by visiting a different church each week. The bible tells us to know them that are over us in the Lord (1 Thes. 5:12). Submission necessitates a commitment and relationship to a local body of believers and to their spiritual leaders.
- It combines our spiritual strength in prayer.
The bible indicates that agreement in prayer with other believers has special favor with God. “Again, I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for the by My Father in heaven” (Matt 18:19). There is a multiplied strength in the combined faith of God’s people, and it is clear that greater spiritual gains can be realized through corporate prayer and worship. This agrees with how God has historically blessed the union of His people in battle against their enemies. “Five of you shall chase a hundred, and a hundred of you shall put ten thousand to flight; your enemies shall fall by the sword before you.” (Lev. 26:8)
- It honors the Lord’s Day.
The fourth commandment of the law that God have Moses was to set aside the seventh day of the week, Saturday, as a holy day to the Lord. “Remember the Sabbath Day, to keep it holy.” (Ex. 20:8). This was, and always will remain, the official Sabbath. However, after Jesus rose from the dead on the first day of the week, Sunday, the early Christians began meeting together on this day as well with the Jewish community in the synagogues on the Sabbath. History indicates that due to the enmity of the orthodox Jews had toward the Christian Jews in their midst, the Jewish Christians were eventually ostracized. And although they were no longer bound to a rigid code of laws (Gal. 3:10- 11, Col. 2:16), it is believed that they came into view Sunday as a combined observance of the Sabbath and the resurrected day of Jesus (Acts 20:7, 1 Cor. 16:2). This day of Christian worship came to be called the Lord’s Day (Rev. 1:10), a day to fellowship in celebration of the resurrection, to worship, pray and study the bible together.
Today, the Christian Jew or gentile, is free from the bondage of the old law. The indwelling of God’s spirit has brought a new way for Christians to fulfill the desires of God through His love (Gal. 5:18, Rom. 13:8-10). However, the new covenant does not invalidate the relevance of the ten commandments as they pertained to God’s wishes for His people. As much as it remains God’s desire for man not to kill, steal or commit adultery, God is still very much pleased for believers to honor Hi on a day reserved for Him, out of their love for Him and His people.
HOW TO HELP YOUR CHURCH
- Be faithful to attend and participate– Commit yourself to the church and let them know they can count on you. Obviously, you cannot be of much help if you don’t show up or take part. Some people underestimate their value of simply being present. Joining with others adds to their encouragement, and it encourages the leaders and the pastor who have prayed and prepared all week to minister to you (Heb. 10:24-25). It helps you pastor and the whole church for you to come faithfully and on time. And don’t merely sit there like a bump on a log. Be friendly, put a smile on your face, and enter into the service by singing
and worshiping. You can even utter an audible Amen or two when the pastor makes a good point. Go ahead, it’ll make his day!
- Commit yourself to love the Lord and your brethren— The bible teaches that all the desires of God are condensed into only two cardinal commandments that Jesus gave to His followers. He said, “…You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mid, and your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27). By clothing ourselves in God’s love, we help the church to reinforce this objective for every believer, and we help to eliminate the elements of conflict and division which can hinder the unity of the church. “I… beseech you to have a walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Eph. 4:1-3).
- Pray for your church, its pastors and leaders—The Apostle Paul explained that it is the duty of Christians to pray for all who are in authority, especially those in spiritual authority. “I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men, for kings and all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence” (1 Tim. 2:1-2). Your church leaders are on the cutting edge of the battle with Satan, and will face temptations and spiritual conflict unlike anything you could imagine. The devil knows that if he can topple a spiritual leader or get him discouraged enough to quit, it will have a domino effect on the rest of the church. You can be a tremendous help by praying fervently for your church, and especially for the pastor and his family.
To be especially helpful, attend the church prayer meetings, where you can come into agreement with others, and where the pastors and leaders can see and feel your prayer support for them and the church. God promised special strength through the combined prayer of His children. “Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven” (Matt. 18:19).
- Get to know your spiritual leaders and cooperate with them—The more you get to know them and their Godly life-style, the more you will likely come to trust their leadership. You will have a greater credibility in their teaching and counsel (1 Thes. 5:12). Show respect and cooperate with their authority. Avoid challenging their right or worthiness to serve in their position, but accept that God has seen fit to place the in this role (Rom. 13:1). Belligerence or antagonism toward leadership may be acceptable in secular society, but there is no place for it in the Lord’s church. “Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, or they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account…” (Heb. 13:17).
- Help shoulder the load of responsibility—Pastors and leaders of the church often feel much like Moses did when Israel fought with Amelek. Their arms become weary under the weight of so many responsibilities and they need brothers and sisters to stand beside them and help distribute the load. “But Moses’ hands became heavy; so they stood a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it. And Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side; and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun” (Ex. 17:12).
The Lord never intended for the whole ministry of the church to be carried solely by the pastor or a mere handful of people. It’s said that 80% of the word is done by 20% of the people, and sadly, this has caused the “burnout” of its many outstanding workers. If everyone would simply pitch in and do their fair share in helping, serving, and giving, all the needs would be met and no one would be overburdened. Be willing to volunteer with whatever needs done and don’t be finicky about what you will or will not do. Do as the scripture says, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might…” (Ecl. 9:10). And don’t help out just for strokes of attention, but do it for God’s glory.
A church is like any other organization with human resources. No one ever starts out at the top. Everyone knows that we have to start at the “entry level”. But if a believer continues to grow strong in Christian character and proves faithful and responsible to the basic tasks given to them in the church, they will likely be
promoted to greater responsibility and ministry. “He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much” (Luke 16:20).
- Apply the teaching and ministry to your life—There’s not much that a pastor loves more than to see his flock practicing what he has preached, living a Godly, holy life, and on their knees seeking the Lord. Learn to appreciate the spiritual values they try to instill in you and the congregation. “Brethren, join in following my example, and note those who so walk, as you have us for a pattern” (Phil. 3:17).
It helps your church when you live and conduct yourself in a Christ- like manner. Whether you realize it, or not, you’re a walking billboard for your church. Whatever the people of your community see in your life, they will tend to identify with your pastor and his flock. Behave yourself and speak well of the church and your pastor. Eyes and ears are always open to the things you say and do.
- Seek out and use your gifts—According to the scriptures, the Lord distributes gifts to each in the body as it pleases Him. Spiritual gifts are not provided to you
merely for your own gratification, but so the church would be edified or built up. God has given you gifts that will be a help to your church- it is up to you to discover them, develop and utilize them under the direction and cooperation with your spiritual leaders. By doing so, you will glorify God and be a great help to your church. “Even so you, since you are zealous for spiritual gifts, let it be for the edification of the church that you seek to excel” (1 Cor. 14:12).
- Contribute to solutions and not to problems—Every pastor would be thrilled if each of his flock got involved and helped the church in some way. However, they would rejoice if certain ones simply stopped being a pain in the neck! It’s a shame that pastors spend so much time “putting out fires,” that is, squelching problems that could have a negative influence on the whole body, such as gossip, rumors, complaining, misunderstandings, hurt feelings, discontent, and so forth. Regrettably, it has been said that 90% of these kinds of problems are generated among the same 10% of the people.
Spiritually mature persons who wish to help their church don’t become a part of such problems, instead, they contribute to solutions. They avoid divisive people (Rom. 16:17) and don’t get caught up in the mischief or grievances of others (1 Tim. 5:13). If they are aware of spreading problems in the fellowship, they will try to bring a resolution, or else they bring matters to the attention of spiritual
leadership so that they can bring an end to it (Matt. 18:15-17). People who wish to be an asset to their church don’t participate with or spread problems, they help spiritual leadership resolve them.
HOW IS THE CHURCH SUPPORTED
Tithes
Give generously, and you’ll receive in like measure.
Why should we tithe?
Since God owns everything- “The cattle on a thousand hills” and all there is- it might seem that He doesn’t really need our tithes and offerings. He doesn’t need them, true, but we need to give them. For, in instructing us to tithe, God is helping us to understand the law of reciprocity.
In addition, failure to tithe means we are actually robbing God of what is due Him. In Malachi 3:8-9, God spells out the results when the nation of Israel does not repay Him what they owe:
“Will a man rob God? Yet you rob me. But you ask, “How do we rob you?” In tithes and offerings. You are under a curse- the whole nation of you- because you are robbing me.”
When we tithe, we receive many blessings from God.
“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap” (Luke 6:38).
And what blessings were promised to the people of Israel, if they would once again tithe!
“Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. I will prevent pests form devouring your corps, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit”, says the Lord Almighty (Malachi 3:10-12).
We are also told that when we give to others, we give to God.
“He who is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will reward him for what he has done” (Proverbs 19:17).
The Importance of Being Earnest
Yet, we should give not only because God expects us to. Our sincerity in returning to God a portion of His bounty is equally important. We’re told:
“Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver” (II Corinthians 9:7).
The apostle Paul also tells us that we receive according to the way we give:
“Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.”
Luke likewise admonishes:
“For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
However, we’re warned against making public our acts of giving:
“Be careful not to do your ‘acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven” (Matthew 6:1).
God’s Outpouring of Blessings
When we’re generous to Him and to others, God rewards us in a very generous fashion.
“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written, ‘He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor; his righteousness endures forever’. Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God” (II Corinthians 9:8-12).
What Should I Do Now?
In the Old Testament, the Jews were instructed to take their tithes “to the storehouse”, which was the temple- the center of religion for the entire country. Today, since the Body of Christ has so many manifestations (churches, colleges, television and overseas ministries, hospitals, relief agencies, etc.), people can choose where their tithes should go.
It’s important that you give your tithe to the place that feeds you spiritually. If you’re a church member, you should honor your own church with consistent financial support, since membership entails responsibilities as well as privileges.
Done on a regular basis, giving serves as a constant reminder that God is our provider. You alone will decide how to account for your stewardship of the financial blessings God gives you- and how to honor Him with your tithes and offerings. May you be richly blessed, as you are obedient in your stewardship to Him!
BEFORE YOU LEAVE YOUR CHURCH
There are many things that can cause a person to consider leaving a church some good and some not so good. Many times the Lord may reassign a person to another church so they can bring ministry or encouragement to another congregation- that’s the best reason to leave a church. In other situations, people may discover that their church actually impedes their spiritual well-being, and may find the necessity to withdraw. Frequently, people leave a church simply because they are disinterested, dissatisfied, or feel they can find something better.
Before doing anything, it’s a good idea to pray about your situation and seek the Lord’s leading (Prov. 3:6). If you feel the Lord genuinely wants you to leave and go elsewhere for good reason, go to the pastor and discuss it with him. Don’t just stop showing up for church. That is inconsiderate and immature. Keep in mind, leaving one church always means finding another- the Lord does not lead anyone to simply stop going to church (Heb. 10:25).
My advice to you is, if you are presently in a church that: (1) is scripturally sound, (2) is reasonably stable and loving, (3) has Godly, moral leadership, (4) is doing their best to exalt Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, and (5) if they’re making a reasonable effort to minister to you and your family, then hang in there and remain faithful! You don’t know how blessed you are to have a healthy church like that. Many Christians would give anything to just find a church that is merely at peace!
If you’re unhappy with a church which fits this fivefold description, it’s very likely that the problem isn’t the church, but yours. Either you’re hung up on some trivial issue, your feelings have been hurt, or you struggle with discontent from other personal problems.
Seven Things To Consider Before Leaving A Church:
- Don’t leave a church out of your personal discontent—If discontent is rooted within you, it will follow you wherever you go, regardless of what church you attend. Many years ago, a certain lady who had attended our church for a few weeks came to speak with me. “Your church is so refreshing from all the other churches around here,” she complemented. Curious, I asked, “Just how many other churches have you attended?” “Oh, about thirteen”, was her reply. Privately, I realized that we were going to have problems with this new lady, because when it comes down to the basics, most Christian churches aren’t that much different from each other. Whenever a person finds dissatisfaction with several congregations, you can be assured that the problem is their own, not the churches. And sure enough, the woman eventually became discontent and left our church too, the same as the previous thirteen.
- Don’t leave a church because you transferred your own personal frustrations there. – Avoid pushing off your feelings of disappointment from other areas of our life onto the church. Sometimes unhappiness toward the church is a derivative from other personal problems such as: Family or marital difficulties, job dissatisfaction, personal offenses, memories of childhood abuse, mental stress, emotional illness, and so forth. People who struggle with deep internal problems sometimes develop a distorted estimation of the people or situations around them, and may blame them, including the church, for their anguish. Generally speaking, the church is not your problem. Remember that
it and its ministers are there because they love you and want to help you- not hurt you.
- Don’t leave a church because your feelings got hurt. – Hurt feelings are a “violation of self interests” and are usually a result of being too self-sensitive. In any church or gathering of people there may be many offensive things said or done, mostly unintended, but you don’t have to let yourself become offended. Those who are easily offended may simply be immature, too self centered, or may retain self-sensitivities due to past, festering wounds. Hurt feelings are probably the greatest reason why people leave churches, but deepening your roots in Christ and His word can immunize you against such tenderness. “Great peace have the which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them” (Psalm 119:165 KJV).
- Don’t leave a church over trivial criticisms.- People sometimes have a remarkable ability of making a mountain out of a molehill. I’ve known people to change churches merely because they didn’t like the way the pastor combed his hair, the length of the services, how the bulletin was typed, or other silly reasons. Of the may excuses that persons use to leave a church, this is among the most shallow. If all you seem to do is criticize and find fault with the church, you have an attitude problem. Regardless of where you go to church, you’ll find a similar faults again, because the problem isn’t with the church—the problem is with you.
- Avoid leaving a church over its style or individuality. – One of the most common explanations people give for switching churches is their “disagreement with certain beliefs”. However, I can recall many instances where people used this reason even though both churches believed and taught the same things. In reality, it was a dislike of the personality of the church—its teaching methods, the style of worship, the structure of the services, or the pastor’s preaching style, etc. Many churches actually believe and teach the same things, but each might have a slightly different method, structure, or style which makes up it’s unique personality. No two church are alike in their personality or methods, any more than two people are like, but it’s not really very mature to abandon a church over such, shallow, external things. Our estimation of a church should be based on more spiritual, substantive issues, such as their beliefs, their love for one another, or their commitment to reach the lost, etc.
- Don’t leave a church when faced with self conflict. – Many people do not understand that spiritual growth requires confronting and overcoming conflict with our self-willed nature (James 1:3-4). The environment of the church provides two important features of growth producing conflict: (1) Authority who will challenge you with truth and correct you when you are wrong. And (2) an environment of believers, many of whom are imperfect and whose rough edges will serve as sandpaper to smooth out your wrinkles. “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend” (Prov. 27:17).
If anyone thinks he is spiritual, just get close to your brethren and you’ll find out what’s really inside you. People are like “mirrors” in which we can see ourselves as we really are. If there is bitterness or a lack of love, it will become exposed. It doesn’t matter how agitating, rude or unspiritual your brethren might be. This does not justify your intolerance or impatience with them. These attitudes are characteristics of your own immaturity—a weakness in YOU that needs perfected. This is why some people run from church to church – because it exposes their bad side. They see their own sins and blemishes revealed in their relationship with the brethren, or they become outraged when their self-willed desires or sins are challenged through convicting preaching or correction.
If a person remains an “island” to himself or herself, they will never have to face up to the spiritual immaturity within them. But exposing themselves to the environment of the church will cause them to face conflicts that must overcome in order to grow up. A sign of a spiritually mature person is that they can be loving and patient with anyone (1 John 2:10, Gal. 5:22-23), and they can humbly submit themselves to truth and the correction of authority (Heb. 13:17).
- Don’t leave a church until you have contributed in some way to try and help make it better. – I have always noticed that the most critical people in the church are usually the ones who do the least. Have you prayed for the leaders? Have you made yourself available to serve or help in areas of ministry? Have you expressed helpful suggestions or brought your concerns to the leadership (in a non-judgmental fashion). Go to the leadership and share your heart without harsh criticism, verbal assaults, or nagging complains, which only cause a leader to become defensive.
Never spread your “unhappiness”, criticism or dissatisfaction to members of the body—this doesn’t do anything to help and stirs up discord in the church, a sin God hates (Prov. 6:19). If you can’t keep from spreading your discontent
to others, sadly, it may be in your best interest and for the peace of the congregation, for you to move on to another church. Compassionate leaders who are unable to reason with such persons would be wise, and justified by scripture, to encourage their departure from the fellowship. “Cast out the scoffer, and contention will leave; yes, strife and reproach will cease” (Prov. 22:10).
14 WAYS TO ENCOURAGE YOUR PASTOR
Eph 4:11-16 (NKJV) “And He Himself gave some to be apostles some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers (12) for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, (13) till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ;
A Pastor is one of Christ’s five office gifts to the Church. Yes, pastoring is a gift… and a pastor happens to be a Gift that God gives to a church. The term pastor comes from “shepherd”, one who guides and cares for a flock.
Serving as a pastor is a remarkable and awesome blessing and privilege, but sometimes pastors can be the most misunderstood people in the church. Often their hours are long, the pay minimal, the criticism considerable and constant. Despite the joys of serving God, feelings of disappointment and discouragement can plague the best of them. However, there are 14 ways God can use you to become a blessing in his life, which also enhances your ability to receive from his ministry:
- Roll up your sleeves and become a part of the team.– Attend church faithfully and show that you’re eager to follow his leadership. This will bless your life and be a tremendous encouragement to your pastor. Look for opportunities to use your gifts and talents for the work of Christ. And become a soul winner. People all around us are lost in sin, dying and going to hell. Do all in your power to win them to Jesus Christ. Tell them what Christ has done for you and what He can do for them. “Brethren, if anyone among you wanders from the truth, and someone turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins”. (James 5:19-20)
- Be Openly Responsive– Nothing excites a spiritual leader like seeing people respond to the preaching and teaching. Show him that you’re listening, and even say “Amen” once in a while. Not only will it make his day, but it may make the service shorter.. as it is a proven fact that preachers often unconsciously repeat themselves when they feel they’re not connecting with their hearers.
- Submit to the Leadership of your Pastor– The Bible places special emphasis on submission to spiritual authorities. The writer of Hebrews says, “Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you.” (Heb. 13:17). We are also instructed to follow and imitate those spiritual leaders as they follow Christ. Follow the man of God who is following Jesus Christ as set forth in
the Word of God. “Remember those who rule over you, who have spoken the word of God to you, whose faith follow, considering the outcome of their conduct.” (Heb 13:7).
- Treat him with Proper Respect– Treat him with as much or more respect that you would anyone else in authority. Sometimes folks tend to think of him as an employee, instead of their spiritual leader. A pastor, however, is God’s appointed man, to help guide the soul of you and your family, and needs our love and respect. Express your respect to his authority by addressing him as “pastor” rather than by his first name, especially while on the church premises. “And we urge you brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, (13) and to esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake…” (1 Thes 5:12-13).
- Pray, Pray, Pray, Pray for Your Pastor- You know how much opposition that you receive yourself… from the world, the flesh, and the devil… and be assured, your pastor receives much more than you. Pray for him every day and ask God to shower your pastor with an abundance of love, hope, joy, faith, peace, power, wisdom, and courage. Pray for your spiritual leader’s maturity and growth in the faith. While you pray be mindful of this wise advice from the German writing, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: “If you treat a person as hi is, he will stay as he is; but if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.” As Paul wrote, “Finally brethren, pray for us, that the word of the Lord may run swiftly and be glorified, just as it is with you, and that we may be delivered from reasonable and wicked men; for not all have faith.” (2 Thes 3:1-2).
- Commit to Stand with Him Through Tough Times– Be a REAL friend… not just a fair-weather buddy. A genuine friend is someone who remains steadfast with you regardless of what may come. He stands with you in the adverse circumstances of life, does not forsake you when others may abandon
you, helps guard you when you are off guard, helps hold you accountable to your values, forgives, and encourages you if or when you fail.
- Toss out the Cookie Cutter– Don’t expect your pastor to do everything the same way the last pastor did. Trust God to use your spiritual leader to bring about relevant and effective ministry to the present need… and don’t stereotype him either with the strengths or short-comings of other spiritual leaders you’ve known. Let your pastor be himself. Your pastor is an imperfect human being, and is unique with his own distinct personality, gifts and talents. Not all pastors are the same, so don’t put him in a box and expect him to be a duplicate of others you’ve known.
- Be Patient and Understanding– With your pastor, his mate, and his children. Do not expect your pastor or his family to be perfect, they are human too. A man of God has the same human tendencies that we all face, and so
does his family. Let your pastor’s spouse be herself and don’t place unspoken expectations on her to perform particular ministries or be like former pastors spouses. Just love them in finding their place.
- Support Him Financially– So he can keep his mind on the work of the ministry. If a man cannot properly care for his family, he will be distracted from the ministry. It costs your pastor just as much to live as it does you, and in some cases much more because of added expenses… such as books, transportation or the way he is expected to dress. “Let the elders who rule well be counted worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in the word and doctrine. For the Scripture says, “You shall not muzzle an ox while it treads out the grain”, and “The laborer is worthy of his wages.” (1 Tim 5:17-18).
- Give Him the Benefit of the Doubt– Support your pastor even when he can’t publicly explain why certain decisions or actions have been made. Oftentimes, to protect the privacy of others, pastors and leaders frequently cannot disclose everything publicly… and professional ethics sometimes demand silence over issues that are very sensitive. If a tough decision takes place, support your pastor and avoid the criticism that usually comes along with such situations.
11.Knock off Behind his back Criticism– Ministers, as well as virtually all public authority figures, are often the subject of incessant criticism. If there is a legitimate matter that concerns the leader, it should be addressed to him personally.. but criticism behind one’s back certainly doesn’t help them, and when distributed about can cause a lot of harm to a leader’s reputation and credibility.
- Squelch Gossip and Bad Mouthing– Do not speak against or listen to gossip or slander about your pastor. If you hear negative comments, respond with a positive one. If misinformation is being spread, correct it with the accurate information. Or, if people are gossiping, just walk away. The Apostle Paul said, “Do not receive an accusation against an elder except from two or three witnesses.” (1 Tim 5:19).
- Look for Opportunities to Encourage Him– Tell him when he has helped you. Ephesians 4:29 teaches us to say things that edify and minister grace to your pastor whenever you tell him how he has helped you. He will be a more effective, dedicated servant of God if you give him some feedback on his ministry to you (see Prov. 3:27). It will also be very encouraging if you tell your Sunday School teacher, spouse, and your children how they have helped or been a blessing to you. Praise doesn’t cost- but it pays tremendous dividends- in the home, in the church, in the school, and on the job. And be sure to recognize your pastor and his spouse for birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas. It is not always necessary to give gifts, but to be remembered on these special days is an expression of your love and encouragement.
- Stay focused on the big picture– The big picture is JESUS… to love, forgive, and seek to bring souls into the Kingdom of God. Don’t get weighed down by church politics, nonsense, offenses or whatever else goes on, but keep your focus on Jesus and on what the church and the pastor are really all about!
HOW TO KEEP FROM GETTING HURT IN CHURCH
The title of this writing may seem to be rather unusual. After all, we would suppose the church to be a safe place- right? However, unfortunately, the church has sometimes been a place where many have experience wounds instead of healing. In fact, statistics show that a great percentage of persons who cease attending church, do so because of some type of offense or injury to their feelings that happened there. Sometimes these occur because of the insensitivity of the church; other times, people are themselves at fault for being too touchy or sensitive to misunderstandings.
In any case, it is sad that such experiences ever occur, because the church is an indispensable part of the believer’s life. Not only does it provide a place to worship, serve and learn about God, but it is also a community where believers can practice love toward their brethren as the Bible requires; “But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin” (1 John 1:7).
Whatever you do, don’t give up on the church. God requires you to be faithful to it and to be accountable to its spiritual leaders. (See Hebrews 10:25, 13:17). If you have been hurt there, don’t run away- but equip yourself with the protection of God’s Word. You may not be able to stop offensive things from happening, but by applying God’s
principles you can stop them from hurting you. “Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them” (Psa 119:165 KJV).
- Avoid developing unreasonable expectations of the church– “My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectations is from Him” (Psa. 62:5).
The definition of disappointment is “the failure to attain one’s expectations.” Don’t expect things from the church or the minister that they can’t deliver, or that the Bible doesn’t teach for them to do. Many expectations have to do with preconceived “traditions” which we have come to associate with a church perhaps from another fellowship we once attended or grew up in, etc. it’s a good idea to meet with the pastor and ask what you can expect of his ministry and the church.
Occasionally people get disappointed when they find out their church can’t supply all their earthly needs. Most ministers and churches do attempt to help people in every way they can- especially the needy during crisis and emergencies. But some people come to expect the church to meet all their material needs or pay their bills like the earl church did. Unfortunately, this just
isn’t possible unless everyone agrees to sell all their property and possessions and give them to the church like the early believers (Acts 4:34-35). Most churches would be blessed if everyone merely paid their tithes, however statistics show that only a small percentage of churchgoers give a full tithe regularly.
Neither is it realistic to expect the pastor to spend all his time with you, to attend every social function, or for him to show you constant attention. Instead, learn to place your expectations upon God- He will always be faithful to His promises in His Word and will never let you down.
- Don’t place an absolute trust in people– “Thus says the LORD: Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the LORD” (Jer. 17:5)
Come to terms with the fact that everyone is human and will fail you at sometime or another. Even the pastor will make mistakes. The only one you can trust entirely without fail is God.
Realizing that any human can fall short, the degree of trust we place in people must be limited and will depend on their track record. The more we get to know a person’s character and the history of their behavior, we’ll be able to determine how trustworthy they are. This is one of the reasons why the scriptures tell us to
get to know our pastors and spiritual leaders- so from their godly lifestyle, we’ll be able to trust their leadership. “And we urge you, brethren, to recognizes those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you.” (1 Thes. 5:12)
There’s a difference between “love” and “trust”. It’s possible to love and forgive someone, without placing an absolute trust in them. To illustrate this, let’s say there’s a school bus driver who has a drinking problem. One day while transporting a load of children, he becomes intoxicated, wrecks the bus and kills all the children. As the lone survivor of the crash, he turns to the church to seek God’s forgiveness for his horrible act of irresponsibility. If he repents of his sin, will God forgive him? Absolutely. Should the church love and forgive this person? Of course. And what if he would then like to volunteer to drive the church bus for us? Do we trust him? Absolutely not. It would be unthinkable to put a person in the driver’s seat who has shown such recent negligence. Certainly, we love and forgive him, but because of this man’s poor track record, we could not risk the lives of our passengers. Over a long period of sobriety and safe driving, this person may be able to prove that he is again reliable or trustworthy.
Remember that love and forgiveness is granted unconditionally, but trust must be “earned”. Trust is the acquired confidence in a person’s actions. We certainly can, and should trust persons who show trustworthy behavior, but because all
men have the potential for failure, we should never put infallible sense of trust in anyone but God.
- Focus on Common Ground– “Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgement” (1 Cor. 1:10).
Avoid becoming highly opinionated. Opinions are the interpretations and ideas of men, which constantly pressed on other people, can cause division or promote sinful debates and quarrels (Rom. 1:29). Opinionated people are prone to get hurt when others disagree with them.
The Bible teaches for all Christians to “speak the same thing” so that there will be unity in the body of Christ (1 Cor. 1:10). The only way such unity is possible, is for Christians to focus on the common ground of Christ and His Word. That is, we need to “say what the Word says”, to let the Word speak for itself and not try to promote divisive opinions about it. In the scripture, we see that Paul instructed Timothy to “preach the word”, not his opinions (2 Tim. 4:2). A preacher is intended to be a delivery boy of God’s message, not a commentator of the message. That’ the Holy Spirit’s job (1 John 2:27).
Similarly, at one time the news media was required to comply with a very strict code of ethics. They were to report the facts of the news accurately without adding their opinion or commentary. However, as time has passed, news reporting has become less factual and more opinionated- corrupted with rumors and gossip rather than real information. Reporters have evolved into commentators, which manipulate what people think about the news. Like reporters, preachers need to stick with the facts.
Naturally every believer has his or her own convictions about a great many things, but if you continually try to push your opinions on others, conflict will eventually emerge. Avoid controversy over scriptures which are vague and foster many interpretations- stand fast upon those common, basic truths- Jesus,
His life, death, and resurrection-and don’t add to what God’s Word says. “Every word of God is pure; He is a shield to those who put their trust in Him. Do not add to His words, lest He reprove you, and you be found a liar” (Prov. 30:5-6).
- Don’t expect any church to be perfect– “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice” (Rom. 7:18-19).
It is remarkable to consider that the Apostle Paul- the great author of scripture openly confessed that he was not perfect. Like us, he experienced struggles in his flesh to do the right things. If one of the leading authors of scripture and
apostles of the early church admitted to this, it should not seem to strange if we find other brothers and sisters in the church struggling with imperfections too.
Since churches are made up of people like you and me who have imperfections, there will never be such a thing as a perfect church. Unless people understand this, they’ll have an unrealistic view of the church, and will eventually become disillusioned and hurt.
One of the jobs of the church ministry is to help perfect the saints- like a spiritual hospital, where people go to get well. Instead of resenting persons in the church for their flaws, be thankful they’re there trying to grow in Christ to get better. Learn to love and accept people for what they are- they’re not any more perfect than you are.
Just as it has been said of beauty, imperfection is in the eye of the beholder. A person with a negative attitude can find fault wherever they wish. In contrast, the person with a positive outlook can always find the good and beauty in things. The well adjusted person in the church should seek out the good and encouraging things as the Bible teaches (Phil. 4:8). Those who dwell on the negative or continually find fault with the church will eventually get hurt.
- Don’t seek to promote yourself or your own agenda– “Do not lift up your horn on high; Do not speak with a stiff neck. For exaltation comes neither from the east Nor from the west nor from the south. But God is the Judge: He puts down one, and exalts another” (Psa. 75:5-7).
Have a humble and meek attitude like Christ (Matt. 11:29, Rom. 12:3). Besides being obnoxious, pride, and arrougance will set you up for a fall (Prov. 16:18). Don’t promote yourself, campaign or strive to attain an appointed or elected position. God is the one who puts persons in such positions, and unless He does it,
stay away from it. Lift up the Lord in all that you say and all you do. Don’t boast or talk about yourself. “He who speaks from himself seeks his own glory; but He who seeks the glory of the One who sent Him is true, and no unrighteousness is in Him” (John 7:18).
Avoid an attitude of competition which creates conflict in unity. A competitive attitude compares self with others, and strives to rise above that comparison (2 Cor. 10:12). The philosophy of Christianity is not to try to outdo one another, but to submit to and lift up on another (Eph. 5:21). We are even told to ‘prefer’ our brother above ourselves. “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another” (Rom. 12:10). Competition
between churches and Christians is divisive and contrary to the faith.
Don’t expect to receive preferential treatment or to get your way about everything. The Bible teaches that favoritism is wrong, and the church will try to make decisions and do things in the best interest of the whole congregation, not
just a certain few. “… but if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors” (James 2:9). If you do things for the church or give generous offerings, do it to bring glory to God, not to bring attention to yourself for to gain influence (Col. 3:17). The Bible even says that when you give charitable offerings, do it anonymously so to gain God’s approval, not merely man’s (Matt. 6:1).
Avoid the trap of presuming that your opinions are always divinely inspired or are indisputable. Share your suggestions and ideas with church leaders, but don’t press your opinions or personal agenda. Sometimes, persons feel that all their ideas come from God. They may attempt to add clout to their suggestions or complaints by saying “God told me so.” Indeed, God does speak to His children, but you will not be the exclusive source through which God reveals himself in a matter. If your opinions really come from God, the Bible says that others will bear witness with it, especially His pastors and leaders (2 Cor. 13:1, 1 Cor. 14:29). (You won’t even have to invoke God’s name-they’ll be able to tell if your ideas came from Him. Be cautious, lest you find yourself using His name falsely, a very dangerous thing- Ex. 20:7). Pastors are his representatives in his ordained chain of command, and if He wants to get something across to His church, He’ll bear witness with the persons in charge.
- Avoid blaming the church for personal problems– “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You” (Isaiah 26:3).
When you go to church, you should try to dissociate the church from the other personal problems you deal with. The majority of hurt feelings in a church result from wounds and sensitivities people carry in with them. This kind of emotional distress can created “distorted perceptions” which may prevent you from seeing
reality the same way others do. Such things as a low self esteem, abuse as a child, marital problems, personal offenses, family conflict, a root of bitterness, health problems or job dissatisfaction can twist your interpretation of words and actions. You may imagine that people don’t like you (paranoia), or misinterpret well-intended words as an offense. Trivial problems will seem like big problems. Blame for unhappiness may be transferred to the church, its leaders or the people. You may lash out against others or be quick to find fault with the church. Remember this: Don’t’ jump to conclusions over anything, because things are usually not as bad as they seem.
- Treat others as you wish to be treated– “Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (Matt. 7:12).
Many hurt feelings can be avoided if we will realize that people react to how we deal with them. Take a close examination at the way you say things, or even how much you talk, “… a fool’s voice is known by his many words” (Ec. 5:3).
Don’t be rude and impolite. Check your attitude that you’re not overbearing and bossy- people will be turned off and will seek to avoid you.
- Have a teachable, cooperative attitude– “Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you” (Heb. 13:17).
The Bible teaches believers to be cooperative and submissive to their spiritual leaders- something that is not possible unless the believer is committed to a church and accountable to a local pastor. Accountability to a Godly shepherd is a part of God’s order for the spiritual growth of every Christian. God’s Word gives the pastor authority to organize and maintain order of the church, and to teach God’s truth, to correct, and to discipline when necessary to hold his flock accountable to biblical principles. In Paul’s encouragement to ministers, he stated, “Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all long suffering and teaching” (2 Tim. 4:2). (See also 2 Tim. 3:16, Tit. 2:15, 1 Tim. 5:20.)
A lack of proper respect toward authority is a common problem today. People don’t want to be told what to do, or be corrected if they are wrong. This is one reason why the modern church is turning out so many immature believers. When some people hear something they don’t like, or are corrected in some way, they simply pack up and go to another church down the street, or church-hop until they find one that says things they like to hear. “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers” (2 Tim. 4:3).
As long as you are a part of any particular church, you must come to accept that the pastor and leaders are in charge there. Regardless of how unqualified you might think they are, God recognizes them as the authority in that body and will hold them accountable to that responsibility. Consequently, God holds you accountable to respect their authority, to pray for them, and to cooperate- not to be defiant and rebellious.
Always be cooperative, willing to humble yourself. If you have a rigid, inflexible attitude in the church you will probably get hurt.
- Don’t oppose or hinder the church—“These six things the LORD hates, yes, seven are an abomination to Him: A proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent look, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift in running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren” (Prov. 6:16-19).
One of the things that God dislikes most are those who sow discord- who create division and strife in the body of Christ. Don’t be a gossip, a complainer, or stir up turmoil. If you’re displeased with the church in some way, offer your help to make
improvements, pray for it, or as a last resort, find another church you’re happier with- but never become a source of agitation or hindrance.
Don’t badmouth a man of God—If you do so, you’re asking for problems. One time when Paul was punished for preaching the Gospel, he unknowingly condemned Ananias, the high priest, who had ordered the apostle slapped. However, when Paul realized who he was, he apologized for speaking against Ananias, knowing that it’s forbidden to speak against God’s representative— despite the fact that Ananias’ treatment of Paul was in error (Acts 23:5). It is a serious matter to “touch” God’s anointed—either with our words or our actions. Imperfect as they may sometimes be, they are His representatives. “He permitted no on to do them wrong; Yes, He reproved kings for their sakes, Saying, “Do not touch My anointed ones, and do My prophets no harm” (Psa. 105:14-15).
If a minister has done you wrong in some way, don’t incriminate yourself by responding in an unbiblical matter—don’t lash out against him, retaliate with rumors against him, or run hi down behind his back. You should go and confront him privately according to the scriptural fashion described in Matthew 18:15-17. If the first and second attempts do not bring a resolution, take the matter to the spiritual body, such as the church board, or denominated overseers to whom he is accountable—any correction or discipline should be left to them. Keep in mind, an accusation against a minister is a serious matter and will not be accepted unless that matter can be substantiated by other witnesses (1 Tim. 5:19).
When things are not as they should be in the church or with its leadership, there are honorable ways to help promote improvements or resolve inequities. However, it’s unethical to oppose the church or attack its leadership, and persons who do will likely end up hurt, bitter, or possibly worse.
- Be committed to forthrightness and truth—“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. “But if he will not hear you, take with you one or two more, that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he refuses o hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector” (Matt. 18:15-17).
When someone has wronged you, Jesus says that you are to first go to the and confront them privately between yourselves. Most offenses in the church result from misunderstandings, and many could be quickly resolved if offended parties would just go to the source and find out the facts. Unfortunately, some offended people will just absorb the offense silently, while growing bitter and resentful. It is important to God, and a matter of obedience to His Word, that such issues are confronted so that (1) you will not become bitter and withdraw from the church, (2) that the offender is held accountable to not repeat his offenses which could
harm the faith of others, and (3) so that the offender who has perpetrated sin might be reconciled with God. If they are uncooperative with your first private effort, you are to try a second time, taking witnesses with you. Finally, if no success, turn it over to church leadership.
You should never take one side of a story and accept it a fact without verifying it with the other party. There are always two sides to a story. The scriptures address this very problem, that before we believe a rumor, we are to investigate thoroughly, to verify all the facts. “… then you shall inquire, search out, and ask diligently… if it is indeed true and certain that such an abomination was committed among you…” (Deut. 13:14).
Without doubt, it is not possible to have a relationship with a group of people without occasional misunderstandings and offenses. And unless you will commit yourself to confront these issues in the way Jesus described, you will become hurt in the church.
- Be devoted to love and forgiveness—“He who loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him” (1 John 2:10).
Christians will avoid a lot of problems if they will just commit themselves to an unconditional love for their brethren. The practice of loving the brethren—all the brethren, not just the lovable ones—keeps us from stumbling. Never forget that Jesus takes personally how we entreat our Christian brothers and sisters. When we love even the “least” of our brethren, Juses accepts that love toward Himself (Matt. 25:40). You cannot love the Lord any more than you love the least in the body of Christ. “If someone says, I love God, and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?” (1 John 4:20).
Be quick to forgive and don’t hold grudges. Forgiveness and bitterness is one of the greatest reasons whey people get hurt in the church and probably the greatest cause of apostasy—falling away. Remember that unforgiveness is one of your greatest enemies. If you refuse to forgive, it will prevent God’s forgiveness of your sins and could keep you out of Heaven. “for if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will you Father forgive your trespasses” (Matt, 6:14- 15).
- Don’t get caught up in the offenses of others—“Lord, who may abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell in Your holy hill? He who walks uprightly, And works righteousness, And speaks the truth in his heart; He who does not backbite with his tongue, Nor does evil to his neighbor, Nor does he take up a reproach against his friend” (Psa. 15:1-3).
One of the great characteristics of the body of Christ is to care about the burdens and sufferings of one another. However, as we seek to console and
encourage friends that have been offended, we may be tempted to take up their offense against another. In sympathy, we may tend to take their part against the pastor, the church, or whoever they blame for the offense. This is very unwise and an unscriptural thing to do, considering that your friend may be the cause of his own offense. His hurt feelings may be due to a misunderstanding, a difference of opinion, his own rebellious attitude, emotional instability—or he may be childish and immature. There are always two sides to a story, and only the unwise develops an opinion based on one side with or without all the facts.
Sometimes offended persons will seek sympathy from naïve, listening ears. They go about pleading their case, pouring out their bleeding-heart of injustice to those sincere, tenderhearted persons who will listen. Their goal is to seek out persons who will coddle them, support their opinion, and take up their offense against the offering party. You should love an encourage a friend with hurt feelings, but reserve your opinion and avoid taking sides, les you find yourself a partaker in other men’s sins, or you also become offended and hurt with the church.
- Don’t personalize everything that’s preached—Obviously, every pastor preaches with the hope that everyone will take the message personally and apply it to his or her own life. “If the shoe fits, wear it.” However, there are always a few who think the minister is pointing his sermon specifically at them. This is a common misunderstanding which causes persons to get hurt.
Feelings of personal focus from a sermon may occur if persons are (1) under conviction about a particular matter, (2) especially self-conscious, (3) under emotional distress, (4) if they spend a lot of time counseling with the pastor, or (5) if he has previously corrected them or hurt their feelings in some way. Keep in mind, a pulpit preachers doesn’t focus his attention solely upon one person. His concern is for the broad range of people in attendance.
Occasionally persons think their pastor focuses on them, the same way they focus on him. When a pastor stands in front of a congregation week after week, they develop a feeling of close friendship with him—they come to know personal details of his life, his family, and other traits. However, even if the pastor knows each person in his flock, it’s not really possible for him to concentrate on each with the same detail that they do on him. It’s easy for dozens of people to know him well, but not realistic for him to know dozens of people in the same way. Consequently, some develop that illusion that the pastor focuses on them when he preaches—that he remembers their personal details in the same way they remember his. But the pastor has too many other people to consider. He counsels with dozens of people, hears scores of similar problems and details. It’s not likely he will single someone out and preach at them, while trying to minister to the whole congregation. If there’s something specific that the pastor needs to
say only to you, he will deliver it to you personally, in private—not in subtle hints from his sermon.
Besides this, it is the job of the Holy Spirit to personalize God’s Word to us so that we’ll examine ourselves and search our own hearts. When the Lord is dealing with us about His Word, it may seem like the pastor is speaking directly to us. Sometimes the Holy Spirit may even direct the preacher to unwittingly say things that may pertain specifically to us. The best attitude to have is to listen to each message objectively. In every sermon from the Bible, God has something to say to all of us. Be open to whatever the Lord would have to say, willing to accept His correction or guidance. Defensiveness is usually a sign of resistance to conviction.
It is my prayer that these principles will help and encourage you in your relationship with church. If you have been injured there or have merely stayed away, I urge you to find God’s grace to forgive those who may have hurt you and return to the fellowship of God’s people. As challenging as it may seem sometimes, the church is Christ’s path for His people. As challenging as it may seem sometimes, the church is Christ’s plan for His people, and it is there that He will develop and mature you into a fully equipped disciple of His Kingdom.
GETTING INVOLVED
We believe the church is not somewhere you go, it’s something you are. We know that God is moving through His church, and we want you to be a part of it. There are several ways you can get involved at Enhance Church.
OFFICE
Ideal is you enjoy behind the scenes roles, or have a flexible weekday schedule. All office opportunities are during the week at the church office, helping staff with administrative tasks and other projects.
CREATIVE
Work with our film, graphics, motion graphics, digital, writing, and audio teams, helping creatively support our worship experiences and different ministries. There are opportunities available for a variety of skill levels.
GUEST EXPERIENCE
Use your gifts of hospitality and service to welcome, inform, and serve our guests. PRODUCTION
Offering both technical and non-technical opportunities. Production eTeam members help create smooth-running Worship Experiences. No previous experience in necessary.
ENHANCE KIDS
Be a part of our family ministry. Roles range from production opportunities to working directly with children and teaching them about Jesus.